If you’re a lady and you see the title of this post, I think you know where this is going. I’m betting most women have had it happen to them. He says the right things, looks the right way and the next thing you know he gets your legs up and catches you in a stabbing. The Screw Job. I know several guys who do this (one I used to work with was all about The Screw Job including doing it to his ex wife He took the concept further and built his career on screwing people over). I will admit in my younger days I did a Screw Job on a few women, but I really couldn’t be a total @$$hat about it and actually apologized to those women. A few I’m still friends with, and some really great friendships were completely destroyed because of me.
So why do guys do it? I look back on my mistakes and have asked myself that and the best answer I can give is I was selfish. So being human, I’ve learned from my mistakes and grew. But some guys don’t and this is the story of a young girl and an old friend who took advantage. Don’t worry ladies it has a happy ending.
DISCLOSURE: Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent, specifically the star of our piece because her family follows me on Facebook.
Melissa is a very old, dear friend of mine. She’s 22, going to school, works hard and an all around good girl. Whereas Lindsay is the annoying little sister I never had with Melissa I’m the annoying older brother she never had.
One night, Melissa’s neighbor, a longtime friend and someone she had feelings for, invited her to a party. . . ladies can you guess what happened? They got tipsy, one thing led to another and the sloppy drunken dance of the beast with two backs goes down.
The aftermath, according to her was awkward. He behaved like he didn’t expect it, that he always liked her and didn’t want this to hurt their friendship and promised not to tell anyone. Melissa agreed, said there was no pressure and that they should talk later, she left.
When I saw her a few weeks later, she told me the story, said she was worried I was going to think she was a slut, she had never done anything like that before and was a little confused by the situation. I told her she wasn’t, and sometimes things like that just happen and since he said he liked her maybe this could start the relationship she always wanted. I said “You have nothing to stress out about, what did he say when you talked to him later?”
She responded “That’s the thing, I’ve called him several times, texed him, and I haven’t heard back from him in 2 weeks.”
. . . Now I understood her confusion. What happened next, was the work of a real classless @$$hat (kind of like that guy I used to work with).
Over the weeks he avoided her calls, he tells all their friends about what happened, how he got her to put out, how bad she was, and just all around slamming her character. When her true friends relayed all this to her, she made several attempts to contact this d!c#hole to no avail. He kept avoiding her. Throughout this whole thing she has decided to be the bigger person and not fight fire with fire, take from this experience and learn from it.
Well . . . she can be the bigger person BUT I DIDN’T SAY I HAD TO BE. WHO WANTS SOME EMBARRASSING DETAILS?
Much of what I am about to tell you I learned when Melissa told me the story the first time.
WARNING: I WILL BE TAKING LIBERTIES WITH SOME OF WHAT SHE SAID AND ADDING MY OWN TWIST TO IT CAUSE IT’S JUST FUNNIER THAT WAY.”
According to her “He was drunk, but not that drunk that he had to be so awkward. It was like he had never touched a woman before. Kinda clumsy. Very sloppy kisser. . . like making out with a Great Dane with beer breath.”
And as to the point coitus was to begin. . . “Well, I’m sure the alcohol didn’t help. He tried so hard. Not so much like The Little Engine That Could, but more like The Very Little Engine that made it halfway to the station.”
On one final note, on behalf of Melissa (who promised me she would show this to her friends). . . “SUCK IT YOU WORMY LITTLE &*$#@&$?>%& ^*#@!!?>!”