I know it’s been awhile since I have blogged about dating. I believe the last one I talked about was Andrea, the one who didn’t like how I dressed then slammed me in her blog. Well there is a reason for that. For a while I started meeting women I really connected with. Outside of her issue with the way I dressed Andrea and I hit it off great. Since her I had met 2 other women and started to see what I not only want in that special someone, but what I need. . . unfortunately those ended quickly and never gave it a chance to go anywhere. They disappeared like my dignity when I took that Zumba class with Blades. Between that, being cheated on 8 times, 3 failed engagements and women who can’t get past my long hair knowing it’s for Locks of Love (that’s including Andrea I found that out recently) I’ve decided it’s break time from you women. After several conversations with Priscilla I've realized I don't have the healthiest view of women right now when it comes to dating. I'll get over it. Just need a break.
I still have plenty of stories about dating and there's always something to laugh at. Plus I’ve never been in a hurry for getting serious or marriage so I don’t want to see and pity posts saying “Don’t worry AJ you’ll find someone.” That’s not what this is going to be about. This is actually about a person in the dating world we see in men and women. . . the “Fantasy Chaser”
Now when I talk fantasy chaser I’m not talking someone you’re in a relationship with who wants to act out some role playing fantasy like playing doctor or putting on Halloween masks of Obama and Romney and wrestling for the presidency in jello (I apologize for my mind going to a strange dark place). I’m talking about the people that chase the unattainable, unhealthy fantasies like the guy that only wants to date strippers or the woman that wants her Christian Grey. Now I understand admiring someone like the way Blades admires Kate Upton or the way Priscilla drools over our office hottie. That’s normal. Personally I’ve never been wired like that. The only celebrity I have ever thought is hot is Sofia Vergara for 2 reasons. 1. She kind of looks like my 3rd fiance Zulema and 2. For looking the way she does she has the best sense of humor about herself that makes her all the more attractive (ladies take note).
The Fantasy Chasers are a strange race of daters. The few I know in my life seem to use their fantasy as a standard and the minute someone doesn’t meet that standard, they're out. One friend of mine who’s an attractive woman, average build, smart, successful dropped her last guy after she saw him with his shirt off. She even admitted she didn't like his spare tire. It really floored me because . . . well . . . let's just say she's no Sofia Vergara.
One woman in my life for a long time begged me to read 50 Shades of Gray because I’ll learn something about women. What am I going to learn? That you don’t want to be an equal in a relationship? That you want to be dominated and controlled by a man? And you fans of this book don’t tell me that’s not what it’s about. I’ve heard enough about it from said woman and several others who confirmed my suspicions.
This friend of mine is currently in a relationship with a guy who treats her like dogs#!t. Always talks down to her, telling her she needs to lose weight s#!t like that. So why does she stick around? He's ripped and has a lot of money. When she confided in me as to how he treats her It blew my mind. She’s smart, attractive, but because this guy is her fantasy she’s willing to throw her self respect to the side like an empty beer can at a NASCAR race.
Ladies I’m sure you have seen this kind of behavior out of guys too and if you have a story I’d love to hear it. Feel free to post it below. For you fantasy chasers out there, go ahead and keep chasing your strippers, your Christian Grey, your Magic Mike. You’re going to come up empty and alone. Maybe it’s a good idea to start chasing a different kind of fantasy. . . maybe someone that’s going to bring out the best in you. A partner in life. . . an equal.
Just a thought.